10 days til MARYLAND. Word. Can't wait.
There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.
There are seven million.
~Walt Streightiff
When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?~Eleanor Roosevelt
I don't ask for much, but I think that is a very worthwhile reason to ask:
One of my good friends from high school deployed out with a soldier named Eddie. However,Eddie was shot twice in the head, and his parents were told repeatedly that there was very little chance of survival. Yet Eddie is going to be going home in about 6-8weeks, with a strong brain, and a recovering body. Help make Eddie's home wheelchair accessible - even a $1 donation helps, and who doesn't have a $1!
I am obviously no supporter of the war - and I sure as heck question our governments ability to even govern - but I do support the brave men & women who defend my right to think such things. More so - this is not about supporting the war or our government - but helping a man (who happens to be a marine) survive and do so dignified.
Even a $1 can help a lot.
http://www.helpeddieryan.com
http://www.helpeddieryan.com
Well, my friends, I've been in "one-derland" for quite a while, but today I found a number I haven't seen in too long.
Freak! I've lost 40POUNDS!! since I first started my journey. And while I have a LOOOONG way to go - I'm so proud of myself - I feel better than I have in so long. I feel like I look the same - but I know that can't be entirely true because all of my clothes are huge on me, I've dropped three pant sizes, etc.
Here's to another fourty pounds - and that I never "find" this weight, ever again!
But yes, Fuck, I just got a 93% on an assignment, a first assignment, that I should have ACED no problem.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck
I am freaking out, that means I have to exceptional on every freaking assignment in the hereafter to even get an A in the class.
Fuck. I hate grades, I wish everything was just learning because now I'm too stressed about my grade to learn.
Also, day one of going vegan.
This is really hard, and it's only 8:01 AM.
Coffee + Soy Milk though? Not only is it vegan-ified, Soymilk makes coffee taste WAY WAY WAY better.
I wonder if I could eat my cereal with soymilk, or if I would gag.
I also have celiac and hypothyroidism, which means I have to try and be vegan without eating meat or gluten, and that might be tricky. but hey if i have to change my diet anyways, why not just change it entirely?
Back to the FUCK MY GRADE!
As Memorial Day approaches, and we are so indoctrinated to think of our soldiers who have fought for the very rights of our country, I can't help but write a few of the the problems I have with this. I fully am grateful for the men and women who protect our nation, and am fully aware it is not them that decide "When to go to war" or "Why to go to war", etc. Furthermore, I can't think of a more commendable act than that of dying for the protection of a stranger. Thus, to the soldiers who have lost their lives, to the soldiers who are overseas - facing images and realities I would never wish on anyone, living so far away from their loved ones; to the soldiers past & present, I do thank you on this Memorial Day 2009.However.. I must not deny the feelings that I am experiencing in this current situation our country, and furthermore, the people of our world are facing. Day after day, I read articles about how Obama is a socialist; how our country is going to become a socialist country, etc. While I can not argue for or against the allegations, because I myself, am not Obama. I do not know if he has a secret agenda to lead our country to this destination - yet, EVEN if he did - do you people realize what socialism is?!
Socialism - A theory or system of social reform which contemplates a complete reconstruction of society, with a more just and equitable distribution of property and labor.
Oh wow. Scary thought, I know? A just and fair market, one that helps destroy classes, so that ALL individuals can be provided basic rights & liberties - health care, education, to eat. I'm frightened.
If a socialist country, functions and coheres to the true values of Socialism, then this is a (at least) more decent solution to what is happening, than what we (we, being the United States) are living currently. However the reason socialism still lacks, fails, and is deficient is because you are still allowing a small group of individuals (those with POWER, in this case the government) run the majority. In the United States, however, if for some reason we were to become a socialist country under Obama's consummation, this would most obviously and most certainly be a change of
improvement, success, and essential to the country we live in. Where I do not dismiss the need for
simple rights and liberties to all members of our human kind, in this world we live in, I focus on a smaller,more microscopic level in relation to the "starving children in Africa".
The latest statistic I could find from the National Poverty Center, are pre-recession data, so I can
only conjecture, that the results will be higher, larger, and much worst than these. However, going forth:
- Children represent 25% of the population, yet they represent 35% of the poor population.
- Women are poorer than men, in all racial categories.
- In 2007, 45.7 million people in the U.S lived without health insurance.
- 36.2 million people live in households considered to be food insecure.
There is only one class in the community that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing else. That is the misery of being poor. --Oscar Wilde
These are 'merely facts' and statements... but, at the least - at least we would be providing a doctors visit, preventative & intervention care, food on the table, and clothes to wear for own citizens. Though, as Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I do not wish to remove from my present prison to a prison a little larger. I wish to break all prisons".
Is it too hard to study, to learn, to understand - what one is saying, what one is hoping for, and what one is confounding? We are merely continuing on our paths, without question, without appeal, and rejecting and quarreling with anyone who does not heedlessly do the same. And that is exactly what they want us to do.
I urge you, all readers of this atomic blog of mine - again, as I have had in the past, to simply educate yourself. To fight for what you believe in - but not to forget your brethren in your fights. Whether you agree with my nihilistic approach to government & religion, or whether you call yourself a 'right-winged, law-abiding, NRA card holding, pro life, citizen', do not simply let life pass you by. Do not stand in ignorance as you let arbitrary ordinances, precedents, and
apothegm to rule, control, and grasp you and those around you.
"Only after the last tree has been cut down,
only after the last river has been poisoned,
only after the last fish has been caught,
only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten."
--The Cree People
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I have lived a life wrapped into people, into things, into anything other than what it should be, about knowing who I am and why I am here. The past 4 months, I’ve spent learning that… and I’ve learned that life is a continuous journey, with the destination being our final breath. While this may seem the obvious for many, it was a life changing discovery for myself. It has been my ambition to better myself, my life, my journey – so that final destination is received with joy, and celebrated by not only myself, but those who I have surrounded through this journey.
I am trying everyday to make the most of that day, knowing that it is a tool in guiding and creating me. I awake, I find my body – I wiggle my toes, I feel the sensation and wonder that my toes provide me and my body, I do this through each part of my body – the soles of my feet, my calves, my knees, my hamstrings, my stomach, my arms, hands, fingers, my shoulders neck and head. This has taught me to be aware, and to be grateful. It has taught me to start the day with realization of who I am, what I need to improve, and what I desire to be… not to include the great sense of peace it has given me at the start of my days.
I have slowly (or in some cases, rapidly) been removing toxic things from my existence. I have removed toxic foods from entering my body, I have removed toxic relationships with individuals that have hurt me, I have removed toxic addictions that I desired, etc. In addition to removal, I have been adding – adding friendships, activities, energies, meditations, knowledge’s, and so forth. I have been attempting things I have forbidden myself of – removing the fear that I let entrap my life for so long.
I once felt stuck – unable to move. I knew situations, people, foods, activities – I knew they were bad, but I felt stuck, unable to remove my feet from the imprinting. However for the first time, I feel strengthened, alive, empowered. I am able to move – I know the strengths of my inner self, and everyday I live as a testament of my bodies strengths and inner beauties.
I apologize to those I have hurt along the way of this journey for myself – but again reckon the knowledge that I have done what is right for me and my own journey. I encourage others to remove what is necessary and to add only what is beneficial to their own lives. Through doing this, we can find personal harmony.
“Maturity is knowing when to be immature.” ~Randall Hall
Just an FYI? If you ask me to do something - I WILL follow through... ;)
it makes me want to fucking drive to ogden and rip every organ out of that fucking piece of shit worthless man that calls himself a doctor.
i am so angry right now.
i haven't had anxiety/panick in like 5 years, and here I am...
With my daughter, I co-slept til she was 11 months, put her in a crib - she cried for like 2 minutes the first night, and was fine ever since.
MY son is a freaking nightmare - and he's constantly tired because I'm sure we don't sleep well at night. If he gets 6-7 hours of sleep a night, thats amazing (and I just read somewhere he should be getting 11-14 hours plus 2 naps?) He doesn't nap at daycare, he won't sleep without being held, he is just miserable.
90% of the time, if you even set him down to play unless you give him your undivided attention he screams.
SCREAMS. BLOODY. MURDER.
I am going crazy, I need to sleep in my bed - on my own (with my husband of course) away from my son. It would make me such a better mom - but just hearing him SCREAM right now is killing me - and I'm not a big fan of this cry i tout method, and even if so, how long should I let him do it before I give in?
HELP!!!!!!!!
but really? these people have proved over and over and over they will never change and permanently suck. i try (as I always try to do for the sake of man kind) to give people the benefit of the doubt - but when words are your only attempt of action - well i can't handle that.
moving on. i am so excited to be the hell away from Utah.
mitch took his GRE this weekend, and kicked butt. on his quantitative part alone he got a 780/800. amazing? yeah, i know - thats my husband ;).
i'm so ready for the semester to be over, considering all of the mass amounts of work pounding these last few weeks - i'm already exhausted and i have countless term papers due, finals, etc. not kosher.
At 18 I may have been weird, and my motives and actions questionable - but everything in the end will always work out the way it needs to be.
Regardless, for 5 years I have sent Christmas cards to "the missionaries" that baptized me - merely because I hope that they are doing well, whether I believe in what they taught me or not, I thought highly of them at one time.
For the first 2 years, I got a card back from one of them. Then that ended. (Elder Jackson, Ryan).
Elder Allen, Buddy - If you've been on my friends list for a long while, you know my backstory with him.
Regardless, for 5 years he's ignored me. That's cool, I don't care, I just want people to know I think of them, and hope they are doing well.
He just added me to facebook?
What?
Excuse me?
Way to be like "HI I IGNORED YOU FOR 5 YEARS BUT WE ARE TOTALLY FRIENDS".
I am powerful - at least, almost. I almost rejected it!
I have not been away from my children since I had them. And while that's a wonderful thing, and I love my children - I think I might be getting..... burnt out. I think a killer weekend with some awesome lady friends would do the trick.I'm thinking sometime in May, inbetween my spring/summer semester. St. George, Vegas, Portland, Denver, anywhere semi-close but far enough, where fun can be had. It could even be in Salt Lake City and we could just devulge in fancy pedicures, fun photos, amazing window shopping...
Suggestions? Ideas? Whose in?
Essentialy showing one finger + one finger, then there is two fingers!
So addy one finger plus one finger equals how many? "MANY FINGERS MOMMY!"
I can almost see it
That dream Im dreamin, but
Theres a voice inside my head sayin
Youll never reach it
Every step Im taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
But I, I gotta keep tryin
Gotta keep my head held high
Theres always gonna be another mountain
Im always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
That sometimes Im gonna have to lose
Aint about how fast I get there
Aint about whats waitin on the other side
Its the climb
The struggles Im facin
The chances Im takin
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No, Im not breaking
And I may not know it
But these are the moments that
Im gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on
Theres always gonna be another mountain
Im always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
That sometimes Im gonna have to lose
Aint about how fast I get there
Aint about what's waitin on the other side
Its the climb
Yeah
Theres always gonna be another mountain
Im always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
That sometimes Im gonna have to lose
Aint about how fast I get there
Aint about what's waitin on the other side
Its the climb
Yeah yeah
Keep on movin
Keep climbin
Keep the faith, baby
Its all about, its all about the climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith
Whoa, whoa
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