1) Where did you begin 2009?
Probably asleep? On the couch? In SLC?

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day?
married
3) Did you attend school this year?
Yes! and I finished my undergraduate! WOOHOO!

4) How did you earn your money?
I was a server for a while, and then I focused the mostest on finishing school..

5) Did you have to go to the hospital in 2009?
No

6) Did you have any encounters with the police?
Yes, of course! But no trouble! :)

7) Where did you go on holiday?
Nowhereland!

8) What did you purchase that was over $1000?
A moving truck? A new lease? Uh... The end.

9) Did you know anybody who got married?
Do my clients count?

10) Did you know anybody who passed away?
Mitch's grandfather. My moms father in law.

12) Did you move anywhere?
Yesm, Maryland!

14) What concerts/shows did you go to?
None - Lamer!

15) Are you registered to vote?
I think I need to re-register in my new area.

16) Who did you want to win American Idol?
I don't watch that.

17) Where do you live now?
Anne Arundel County, MD!

18) Describe your birthday?
It was pretty sucktastic, but we were broke so hopefully that's not the case next year! :)

19) What's one thing you thought you wouldn't do but did in 2009?
Actually move to MD? I'm not sure, I thought I would but there was always the "realistic thought" in the back of my mind that thought otherwise... Or boobs.

20) What has been your favorite moment?
Spending quality time with my kids. Seriously, I never thought I could be a "stay at home mom" but the past 5 months have been the best months for me to learn and teach and grow with my kids. Though I still think they do better in day care? Ha. Or Boobs? Can I say that? Can I compare boobs to my kids? uh.

21) What's something you learned?
That I don't need to be dependent on others - if I have to do something, I can, and I will.

22.) Any new additions to your family?
No... Thank Gosh.

23.) What was your best month?
Uh... Probably March, just because I was in my favorite semester of college, with really awesome people in my classes/making new friends/hanging out/working a fun (for the most part) job/ it was just overall good.

24.) What music will you remember 2009 by?
I have no idea.

25) Who has been your best drinking buddy?
I don't drink!

26) Made new friends?
I did - I made some really awesome friends in the Spring semester of college - but I moved away, otherwise I feel like those friendships would have really grown.

28) Favorite Night out?
I don't do those.

29) Someone you liked?
Myself? My family?

30) have you kissed the one from question 29?
Everyday. Well not myself, but members of my family! :)

31) Kiss any one of the same sex?
Addison.

33) something you look forward to before 2010?
It already is 2010! :)

34) Where will you start 2010?
I did it asleep on my couch watching a movie :) (Cabin Boy --- Mitch's choice!)

35) Overall, was it a good year?
It was a year that taught me a lot, and a year to prepare for 2010!

I wish LJ was all the rage still. I used to check it 395893 times a day, and there would be new posts. I check it once a day now, and there MIGHT be new posts. It makes me sad. If you know of active users - tell me. I don't update mine (hence probably everyone else too in LJ land....). I just like LJ because it's all in one spot, where blogs you have to click on each blog... boo. I changed my default icon - so thats pretty much the only reason I am updating my LJ.
www.iamblair.com or bust.

5 days til BOOOBS! (you can watch my video on http://www.iamblair.com where I discuss my TMI boobjob).

10 days til MARYLAND. Word. Can't wait.

Does anyone know if the HCG diet is legit - or is a combination of the fact you are A. starving yourself and B. taking a highlyintense weightloss drug (phentermine). Because I can't take phentermine ( I have EXXTREEEEEEEMEZZZZZZ ADHD) so I already take adderall, and adderall + phentermine = death. So I would be basically starving myself. But hell, I can starve myself for free - and save a few bucks. I just want to know if the HCG crap works?

Back on December 31, 2008, I posted my goals for the 2009 year. One of which was to loose weight.

Fuck, haha I couldn't even get past the first sentence, let alone the first word.

But yes, Fuck, I just got a 93% on an assignment, a first assignment, that I should have ACED no problem.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck
I am freaking out, that means I have to exceptional on every freaking assignment in the hereafter to even get an A in the class.

Fuck. I hate grades, I wish everything was just learning because now I'm too stressed about my grade to learn.

Also, day one of going vegan.
This is really hard, and it's only 8:01 AM.
Coffee + Soy Milk though? Not only is it vegan-ified, Soymilk makes coffee taste WAY WAY WAY better.
I wonder if I could eat my cereal with soymilk, or if I would gag.


I also have celiac and hypothyroidism, which means I have to try and be vegan without eating meat or gluten, and that might be tricky. but hey if i have to change my diet anyways, why not just change it entirely?


Back to the FUCK MY GRADE!

 My best friends mother, who is basically mom psuedo mother - HAS FREAKING SWINE FLU!!!!!!!




AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve perhaps been a bad LJ friend since I got my blog (http://www.iamblair.com). Well, I have been reading and perhaps commenting, but not really updating.

I have lived a life wrapped into people, into things, into anything other than what it should be, about knowing who I am and why I am here. The past 4 months, I’ve spent learning that… and I’ve learned that life is a continuous journey, with the destination being our final breath. While this may seem the obvious for many, it was a life changing discovery for myself. It has been my ambition to better myself, my life, my journey – so that final destination is received with joy, and celebrated by not only myself, but those who I have surrounded through this journey.

I am trying everyday to make the most of that day, knowing that it is a tool in guiding and creating me. I awake, I find my body – I wiggle my toes, I feel the sensation and wonder that my toes provide me and my body, I do this through each part of my body – the soles of my feet, my calves, my knees, my hamstrings, my stomach, my arms, hands, fingers, my shoulders neck and head. This has taught me to be aware, and to be grateful. It has taught me to start the day with realization of who I am, what I need to improve, and what I desire to be… not to include the great sense of peace it has given me at the start of my days.

I have slowly (or in some cases, rapidly) been removing toxic things from my existence. I have removed toxic foods from entering my body, I have removed toxic relationships with individuals that have hurt me, I have removed toxic addictions that I desired, etc. In addition to removal, I have been adding – adding friendships, activities, energies, meditations, knowledge’s, and so forth. I have been attempting things I have forbidden myself of – removing the fear that I let entrap my life for so long.

I once felt stuck – unable to move. I knew situations, people, foods, activities – I knew they were bad, but I felt stuck, unable to remove my feet from the imprinting. However for the first time, I feel strengthened, alive, empowered. I am able to move – I know the strengths of my inner self, and everyday I live as a testament of my bodies strengths and inner beauties.

I apologize to those I have hurt along the way of this journey for myself – but again reckon the knowledge that I have done what is right for me and my own journey. I encourage others to remove what is necessary and to add only what is beneficial to their own lives. Through doing this, we can find personal harmony.

my life hasn't made this much sense - been so amazing, and had so much positivity in it in a long time.

i shouldn't have read my hospital records from my birth with addison.
it makes me want to fucking drive to ogden and rip every organ out of that fucking piece of shit worthless man that calls himself a doctor.

i am so angry right now.
i haven't had anxiety/panick in like 5 years, and here I am... 

Brooks(obviously) is what now, 16 months? He won't sleep on his own. If I put him in a crib, near a crib, if I sit him down for a split second even - he screams. He simply won't do it. I put him in his crib at 7:30, and it's almost 8, - and he's still crying. BUT - I'm at my wit's end, I can't sleep with him any more, I'm EXHAUSTED BEYOND BELIEF I simply can't do this.
With my daughter, I co-slept til she was 11 months, put her in a crib - she cried for like 2 minutes the first night, and was fine ever since.
MY son is a freaking nightmare - and he's constantly tired because I'm sure we don't sleep well at night. If he gets 6-7 hours of sleep a night, thats amazing (and I just read somewhere he should be getting 11-14 hours plus 2 naps?) He doesn't nap at daycare, he won't sleep without being held, he is just miserable.
90% of the time, if you even set him down to play unless you give him your undivided attention he screams.
SCREAMS. BLOODY. MURDER.

I am going crazy, I need to sleep in my bed - on my own (with my husband of course) away from my son. It would make me such a better mom - but just hearing him SCREAM right now is killing me - and I'm not a big fan of this cry i tout method, and even if so, how long should I let him do it before I give in?

HELP!!!!!!!!

i want to write a lot of mean things right now, because i am so sick of specific 'types' of people. really, just 2 people actually. and one I've never even 'met' so i don't why i care.

but really? these people have proved over and over and over they will never change and permanently suck. i try (as I always try to do for the sake of man kind) to give people the benefit of the doubt - but when words are your only attempt of action - well i can't handle that.

moving on. i am so excited to be the hell away from Utah.


mitch took his GRE this weekend, and kicked butt. on his quantitative part alone he got a 780/800. amazing? yeah, i know - thats my husband ;).

i'm so ready for the semester to be over, considering all of the mass amounts of work pounding these last few weeks - i'm already exhausted and i have countless term papers due, finals, etc. not kosher.

“In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

Seriously.
At 18 I may have been weird, and my motives and actions questionable - but everything in the end will always work out the way it needs to be.

Regardless, for 5 years I have sent Christmas cards to "the missionaries" that baptized me - merely because I hope that they are doing well, whether I believe in what they taught me or not, I thought highly of them at one time.

For the first 2 years, I got a card back from one of them. Then that ended. (Elder Jackson, Ryan).
Elder Allen, Buddy - If you've been on my friends list for a long while, you know my backstory with him.
Regardless, for 5 years he's ignored me. That's cool, I don't care, I just want people to know I think of them, and hope they are doing well.

He just added me to facebook?
What?
Excuse me?

Way to be like "HI I IGNORED YOU FOR 5 YEARS BUT WE ARE TOTALLY FRIENDS".
I am powerful - at least, almost. I almost rejected it!